A Little More Evidence

This is the last one of these for a while, I promise, and I'll make it as fast as I can. But the coincidences in my life regarding North Dakota, as well as all of the new information I'm finding out is really starting to make me worried, and I feel the need to share that crippling fear of the government with you.

Before I divulge another frightening personal tale, allow me to explain one more North Dakota fact. Ladies and gentlemen, North Dakota is the only state that doesn't use any kind of voter registration list. None at all. So in any federal records for voting residents of the state of North Dakota...nothing. Do they not vote? Would a registration list reveal to much about the population? Is it possible that not having registered votes allows them to fix elections one way or another seeing as its impossible to tell how many voters there actually are? You decide.

By the way, I finally found a celebrity from North Dakota. His name is Josh Duhamel. Apparently hes married to Fergie now of the Black Eyed Peas. Sounds like he's just famous enough to be proof, but not so famous that anyone would ever go looking for his home town of "Minot, ND." His father is a salesman, and his mother teaches elementary school. Oh how classic Americana. He played football for a local state college and always wanted to be a dentist. come on government! If you want to deceive me you're going to need to try harder than that!

After some more searching I discovered that Nicole Linkletter and CarriDee English, both winners of next top model, and Kellan Lutz, of Twilight fame, all hail from "North Dakota." Funny thing is, all three of them, as well as our buddy Duhamel all started as models. Now I know what you're thinking, ya, ya Doug sure, sure big deal. But really guys? It produces just enough C list celebrities to stay real, just enough strangely beautiful people to convince us it's there. But they can't hide the Grand Forks Air Base and all the other military establishments. There's something going on over there.

Anyway, onto my new personal references to the truth behind the lie. Another friend (who won't be named) heard my theory. The very next day she was on the highway in the left lane when a black Impala with tinted windows pulled up next to her and stayed even with her for about two miles and then sped off. A minute later, she heard a dedication to someone from North Dakota on a local Boston radio station. Really government? Really? You don't think I notice when I tell my friend about Ol' North Dakota and the next day she sees a ND licence plate at Applebees? Sure, sure just stake out places I go out to eat all the time waiting for me to show up so you can casually drive by and show me your "proof." Go ahead.

Make my day.