Breaking News

Instead of a brand new point of interest tonight, I have some new information about my original post that might sway a few more of you to believe as I believe. For new readers who may have never seen the idea that started it all, I began this blog by stating my theory that North Dakota doesn't exist. It might sound crazy if you've never read it, so you might want to go and check that out before you read this. I'm putting this here in light of a few new pieces of information regarding this "state," as recently some things have been brought to my attention that I feel the public has a right to know.

First of all, here are a few "North Dakota" facts that can be found online. Did you know that the only US state never to have an earthquake is North Dakota? It doesn't seem that suspicious until you think of all the government work that could be destroyed by one, especially all of the underground facilities. Is it possible that that area was picked simply for its resistance to troublesome tremors? Or is there some kind of tectonic plate restricting technology in use, perhaps technology found in the ships of crashed UFOs. You be the judge my friends. How about that in North Dakota there are more registered vehicles than people. Now let's try the math; if each government employee has a black Impala, a white, tinted-windowed van, and a Ford Taurus...indeed, that's three cars to every one person. This fact sounds feasible to me. Last but not least, how about the fact that if North Dakota seceded from the Union it would be the world's third strongest nuclear power. Seriously, come on people! Who do they think they're fooling! The place has conspiracy written all over it!

All right, besides these facts one more thing was brought to my attention just last night. Not an Internet site, not a theory, but a cold, hard eye-witness account. A close and trusted friend of mine was describing a business trip that brought him through North Dakota. He said, and I quote, "I went to a bar soon after I got into North Dakota. I swear it was the strangest place I had ever been in my life. There was the token Indian girl in the corner, the drunk guy, the poker players, the friendly bartender... it was like everyone in there was playing a role." Very Truman Show-esque, no? It's all a cover up. Everything in there that we can see or know about is fabricated to fool us folks.

Finally, some personal news that I need to say soon. Soon as in before they black bag me and take me who knows where. I think the government is on to me. There, I said it. I've noticed an increase in black and white cars with dark windows and government plates every where I go. And what I am about to say is completely true. I know some of what I say sounds like a load you-know-what, but this story really, honest to God happened to me. On a recent trip to the gym, I was parked in the lot getting my stuff ready to go in, when a black Impala with government plates pulled up in front of me. Inside were two men with sunglasses on who seemed to be looking right at me. So I reached into the back of my car, not to get anything, but to avoid looking at them. As I put my shoes on, I noticed one of them had left the car and walked up to a column in front of the gym. He stood there, not smoking or doing anything, just standing. As I walked up to the gym, as soon as I was in speaking distance he turned his head to me and said "How we doing?," to which I replied "Awesome." When I finished and left the place, they were gone, neither of them having ever set foot in the gym, or any nearby business.

Once again, that story is completely true, I am not lying at all. That's why I didn't give the name of my business tripping friend. They're on to me man. I'm just saying, if someone picks me up, you readers will know not exactly where I am, but why I'm there. Just remember that.

By the way, if and when that happens, someone please tell my government teacher where I am. He doesn't believe the whole North Dakota thing. Also, Danny, you can have my Wii, assuming that they don't take you too now that I used your name. My bad.