I openly admit to watching Survivor. Even after the first season, I enjoyed watching human nature at its most basic level, the hardships and difficulties of life in the wilderness, the alliances and backstabbing, and even the occasional confrontation, brought on by the high stress environment and tense atmosphere of constant challenges to stay on the island. I watched every episode of that show, enthralled with the new concept of "reality television."Flash forward 10 years and here I am stuck with nothing on TV but 55 different reality TV shows and maybe the news. And even there, all the news can talk about now is who was just voted off of the most recent dating/makeover/survival show last night. It doesn't matter what day of what season, here in America some poor sap's 15 minutes of fame is ending every hour on the hour, as are the hopes and dreams of all the junkies following along at home who "really though he had it in the bag."
Look at the television right now, I dare you. If there isn't a reality TV show on somewhere
call me, and I will buy you a sundae, I promise. Its like the black plague of television out there.
And the thing is, they never end. Even after Surreal Life was over on VH1, Flavor Flav managed to score another deal based on his relationship with Brigitte Neilson, spawning Strange Love.When, obviously to everyone's surprise, their love life came to a flaming crash, he wound up with Flavor of Love, and then a
sequel to that when that little romance failed. Off of his show came New York, and all of her seasons of soul searching, which then led to a Real Chance at Love. That's 6 seasons of television based on one ridiculously mind numbing concept.
And then the plot lines run up and no one character on any show stands out as the most likely to succeed in that shallow, shallow end of the gene pool, they throw out a Charm School.
Yes, Charm School, where all the annoying wastes of space from every other show get together to try to learn to be respectful, humane versions of their once wild selves. Thing is, in order to score the next deal for another VH1 show, they know they need to be even more of an out of control 7 year old than they usually are.
So on this show about straightening up some wild and crazy girls, they're spitting in each other's faces down to the last episode. I think I have a solution to it all, not only to end the never ending stream of these shows, but also to give reality TV its one last hurrah. It's called a "An Actual
Shot at Love." Each week, 15 assassins will be tasked with eliminating as many stars of VH1 shows as possible. The assassin with the lowest headcount is kicked off the show. The final showdown features the greatest two assassins, in a house filled with their previous kills, each hunting the hosts of all those so called bit of "entertainment." That's right , Ricky Lake is up for grabs, and only one assassin can win.
Tune in next week, when all the assassins get together with Dr. Phil to work through some of their "daddy issues."
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